In 1990, Paul Gascoigne cried when he got a booking that would have meant he’d been excluded from the final, if we’d actually made it to the final, that is. While Gazza’s perhaps not the best role model for you to emulate completely, in 1990 he taught us all an important lesson--boys do cry, and once more, it’s okay to do it in front of a massive televised audience, recorded for time immemorial.
A problem is a chance for you to do your best.
Duke Ellington
Don’t be afraid to show emotion. It’s a myth that boys don’t cry, just like the school playground rumour that girls don’t fart. As a man, you might still subscribe to the cultural norm that men should be hunters and leaders, stoically hunting big game for mum and the kids to eat once you have returned from running about, spear in hand, the pain from that mammoth gore on your right leg not showing on your rough, bearded complexion.
But that’s just not true. You may be a man and a dad, but you too can feel hurt or sad. The best way to cope isn’t to bottle it up all inside until it explodes like a bottle of shaken fizzy pop, or slowly drains your energy like an iPod connected to a unplugged laptop. It’s to talk about it, show your feelings, and try to work towards a constructive solution, with your partner, a friend, or someone who you feel you can trust. For support you can check out these organizations:
Be Grand Resources for grandparents to truly be grand.
DadTalk A forum and toolbox for dads.
Gingerbread A helpline and website for single parents.
OneSpace A host of resources for single parent families.
Contact a Family Advice and information helpline and website for families with disabled children.
Young Minds Advocacy group and charity for children and young people's mental health and wellbeing.
Children's Legal Centre Legal advice and representation for children and young people.
Relate for Parents Support and guidance for couples with children.
The Couple Connection Resource for finding relationship support and advice.
ParentChannelTV A video resource with loads of useful parenting tips and ideas.
Netmums Forum and parenting resource not only for mums!
Family Rights Group Organisation that gives advice and information for families who need or use social care services.
GotATeenager Information and advice for coping with raising teens.
NHS Choices The National Health Service website is a great starting point for anyone looking to begin treatment.
Samaritans Call, write or email the Samaritans for advice, referrals to specific services, or just someone to talk to.
Talk to FRANK A helpline and resource to use if you feel you have a problem with drugs.
GamCare A helpline and starting point if you feel you suffer from gambling addiction.
Beat: beat eating disorders Overeating and eating too little could both be considered unhealthy. Beat has many resources to help battle eating disorders.
Alcoholics Anonymous Offers structured group support for alcohol addiction.
Alcohol Concern A tool to help locate support services for alcohol addiction in your area.
