Don’t worry if you don’t bond with your baby the second you lay eyes on them. Some dads do, but the whole experience of the birth is such an odd rush of emotions that it can be hard to get your head around. The best approach is to just get involved – looking after a baby is made up of lots and lots of small jobs, which helps break down a big event into something easily manageable.
In truth, babies are quite boring at first: they feed, they cry and, with a bit of luck, they sleep. But they’re new and they’re yours, and that in itself is fascinating. You can stare for hours at a new baby whilst they basically do nothing. In a way, the fact that they can’t do anything helps the bonding process – you’re totally responsible for them, and when the daily reality of that kicks in the bond usually develops quickly. We’re just wired that way.
Some dads feel overwhelmed and dodge contact: if you feel like that, fight the impulse. Not only is it valuable to get that bonding time, but the mother will appreciate the support.