If you have a teenager, it is unfortunately highly likely they will be exposed to alcohol and at some point, no matter how well you have done bringing them up, they will probably want to experiment. Unfortunately, a drunken teenager is something that many parents find themselves having to deal with.
If your child is drunk, they think they are ready to drink alcohol. They have come home drunk, however, so this pretty much proves that they are not yet responsible enough to drink. Children can become more and more challenging as they get older. Teenagers are subject to peer pressure and a whole range of other social influences. They want to be treated like adults, and do what adults do. They have grown up seeing adults drinking at parties (if not you, then certainly in the media) – they will want to copy. They are learning how to behave – but have not yet learnt their limits. It can be messy!
If your child comes home drunk, try not to overreact. Now is not the time for expressing your understandable anger. Wait until the morning after to have the ‘talk’. If your child is drunk and out of control, then it is up to you to take responsibility. Make sure they drink plenty of water and get them to bed safely (make sure they are not passing out or likely to vomit). If they do come home drunk, then right then is probably not the right time to argue about it. Tell them you will talk about it the morning. You will eb able to have a calmer, more rational conversation in the morning – and if they are feeling hung over then they are much more likely to take in what you are saying about the consequences of over-indulging!
Top tips- Talk: Explain your concerns about their drinking. Be honest about the good things and bad things associated with drinking. Explain why you have rules about drinking.
- Be clear: Make sure you are consistent. If you have a ‘no drinking’ rule stick to it. Forewarn of consequences if the rule is broken. Discussing consequences at the point of making the rule will show you to be fair if you have to act on them.
- Follow through: When rules have been broken (for example, coming home drunk) follow through on the agreed consequences. Be realistic: don’t say ‘you’re grounded for 3 months’ if you know that it will be impossible to stick to it.
- Don’t turn a blind eye: Find out what is really going on in your teenager’s life. It may simply be a ‘one-off’ which you can deal with and move on from. However, if you think there is more to it, or you notice a pattern of behaviour then dig a little deeper. Getting drunk might be the noticeable effect of a bigger problem.
- Be there to pick up the pieces: You want your teenager to feel they can call you whatever mess they have got themselves into. If they break the rules, follw through on consequences – but be sure they also know to call you if they are in trouble. Better to get a call at midnight asking for a lift, than to lie awake all night worrying.
