Development (2 to 4)

They’ve learned a basic set of skills - now your child will begin to test how far they can push them and how far they can push you!

‘The terrible twos’ is often how this age is described, and with good reason. At this age, they are testing boundaries and asserting their independence. They will make their feelings known, so be prepared for difficult behaviour. They can seem like little movie stars or politicians: convinced that everything revolves around them, and that they can always get what they want.

Egocentric, demanding, rebellious: your child’s a diva superstar.

• Self-centred and demanding – will say things are ‘not fair’.
• Unable to see the differences between situations, and will expect not to wait for their needs to be met – ‘I want it now’.
• Can take what you say too literally, so be careful what you say!
• Testing boundaries.
• Almost impossible to reason with – this may get better from age 3 to 4.
• Will understand commands but still break the rules when you’re not there.
• Lying when caught – even when it’s so outrageous that it’s funny – and unable to understand that it’s wrong.

From the age of three, your child will begin to ask lots of questions – some of them surprisingly difficult. Remember that they do take things at face value. They will become more social, and it’s important for them to be around others the same age so take them to local activity groups regularly. They may even begin to share toys at this age.

Appetite may fall short of your expectations, but don’t force them to eat. They may also be quite picky about what they eat, and go through fads.

Against this backdrop, you will be toilet training them. It’s important that they are not ashamed of this, but some four-year-olds develop a sense of modesty and a desire for privacy.

Being Dad to a 2 to 4-year-old can be challenging and rewarding. You will find your patience being tried, but you’ll also enjoy watching their understanding develop. Your child is a little person who is starting to develop their own ideas.