Managing behaviour (birth to 2)

Introducing boundaries and routines at an early age sets the stage for how your child will behave in the future.

At the age of 6 months, it’s time for your baby to have a set bedtime. This is something that will serve you both well throughout childhood. A well-rested child is less likely to be troublesome the next day, and a set bedtime means that there will be less negotiation about it in the years to come. You will literally save hundreds of hours by sticking to this one routine.

Catch your child being good

At the age of 9 months, you can start to say “No” to certain behaviours. You can also take objects away from the baby and you can distract a child or withdraw stimulation. They won’t necessarily stick to the limits that you’re introducing, but keep them consistent and keep calm when they break the rules (again and again). Catch your child being good – praise for when they are behaving well is more effective in the long run than telling them off.

• Set clear limits (but expect them to be breached).
• Be consistent.
• Keep calm; don’t shout or spank.
• Praise good behaviour.
• Don’t waste breath on explanations: “Because I say so” is enough.
• Provide alternatives: “You cannot play with the phone, but you can play with this toy”.
• Make a verbal separation between the child and its behaviour: “I love you, but I do not like it when you bang your spoon”.
  

Even the best-behaved child will have its limits – tiredness, hunger, lack of affection, or just nothing that you can figure out. Humans can literally be blind with rage, so keep the child safe. If you’re in a public place, try holding the child from behind, but ignoring it. At home you can isolate the child in a safe room or playpen for a ‘time out’ (these can be a very effective strategy at all ages). Keep your cool, and don’t use physical punishment.

No one wins a power struggle with a baby or toddler, so don’t get into one. If you’re clear about the limits, consistent with discipline and keep your cool, you will set a strong foundation for the future.