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Managing behaviour (overview)

Managing behaviour (overview)

Most people do not want to repeat the mistakes their own parents made. But it’s not so easy. You will find that, as your child develops, they will need more firm boundaries.

A number of factors govern the parental guidance you can give a child as they get older.

• Their ability to understand your language.
• Their ability to understand rules.
• Their ability to think (or not).
• Their ability to do things competently (such as use a potty).
• Their ability to understand the world around them, for example, what is dangerous.

- new dad

"I sound like my Dad - it’s embarrassing"

Introduce parental control early

It’s sensible to start some boundary setting at about 6 months. You distract a child from certain behaviour, reduce stimulation for bad behaviour, and establish a set bedtime.

Key points to remember about behaviour management

Give the appropriate response for the child’s age.
Be clear about the rules in advance.
Try focusing on what you want them to do, rather than what you don’t want them to do and keep it simple.
Be consistent – do what you say or don’t say it.
You are a parent, not a sergeant major.
Smacking is not effective and gives the wrong message to children about hitting.
Try to give parental guidance in private, especially with older children.
Give twice as much praise and hugs as criticism.
Separate the child from their behaviour, for example, ‘I don’t like that’ as opposed to, ‘I don’t like you.’
Provide alternatives “No, you can’t play with my phone, but you can play with this”.
Bad behaviour might be a cry for attention.
Contain and ignore tantrums safely.
Keep your own temper in check.
Use a reward system with older children.
Never bear a grudge.

With clear boundaries that are consistently enforced, and with rewards for good behaviour, managing behaviour needn’t be that tough for you or your child.

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Managing behaviour (overview)

Introduce parental control early

Key points to remember about behaviour management

Managing behaviour (birth to 2)

Managing behaviour (2 to 4)

Managing behaviour (4 to 6)

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