It can be hard to accept your children growing up. You might find it tough talking to your children and teenagers about awkward or adult subject. If you fail to talk about difficult issues, however, your children are likely to look for the answers from their friends – or other potentially unreliable sources.
Don’t worry!Accept that a certain amount of nervousness is completely natural. Some topics are just plain difficult to talk about. A little embarrassment on both parts is okay – better to have an uncomfortable moment than to not confront important issues (sex, drugs, rock and roll). as long as you don’t brush tough subjects under the carpet. Don’t fall into the trap of waiting for the ‘right time’.
No such thing as a stupid questionLet your children know that you are always happy to answer their questions. Not all questions will be about difficult subjects – but if you show you’re will to open up and discuss a whole range of subjects, then they will be more likely to come to you with more serious concerns.
ListenYour children are much more likely to listen to you and seek out your advice if you show that you are able to listen to, and respect, their opinions (you don’t always have to agree!) Give them plenty of opportunity to open up, and show genuine interest in their lives. You will give better advice if you understand where your children are coming from.
Find ‘teachable’ momentsUse events in the news, or scenes from TV dramas or films to bring up ‘taboo’ subjects naturally. This can help your children become more grounded in reality. It can be tempting to shield your children from tragedy – but it is important to learn about the negative as well as the positive, and the consequences of actions.
Use age-appropriate language and examplesBe honest with your children and answer their questions factually. But there is a world of difference between a four-year-old asking about the birds and the bees, and a teenager’s questions. You can give information without shocking younger children with too much detail!