Redundancy doesn’t just affect you personally. It’s a blow to the whole family, and can have a significant effect on your life together. Telling your family about it in the right way can help you all to cope better under changed circumstances.
If you have a partner, then you will want to discuss your redundancy with them first. Try to be calm and practical. It is a very stressful conversation to have, so try to find time to talk to them without the children present. Work out what you want to tell the kids together, and then work out when to let them know. Don’t underestimate their ability to pick up on your stress no matter how hard you try to conceal it – so don’t procrastinate. The Golden Rule is to be honest and open, while telling your children in a way they can understand.
- Use language that's clear, to the point, and right for their age and maturity
- Remind them it is not their fault, they are not responsible for what's happening
- Explain that the family will see some changes, and you will appreciate their cooperation
- Decisions will need to be made. You will involve them in discussions but you will sometimes need to make difficult choices
- Explain that you all need to be open to seeking out whatever help is available
- Encourage them to see this is a temporary situation – not the end of the world. Keep the "big picture" in mind
- Keep your children informed about progress and what to expect.
Even very young children will need reassurance that everything will be okay – they have a radar for when things aren’t right at home. They may not need to know everything but it will help if they understand the situation. Encourage your children to ask questions and be honest if you don’t have the answer. Welcome and respect their ideas. Point out the helpful parts and explain why other parts are not workable. Listen.
Older children may be especially concerned by the news. Be open and honest, without burdening them with your worry. You can empower them to help, which may help them feel more secure. Even if its something as simple as cutting household expenses – like strategies for reducing the electricity bill.
Try to keep family life as normal as possible. You may have to find cheaper alternatives to the things you used to do together, but try to keep a routine.