You love your children – that goes without saying, doesn’t it?
Well actually, no, it doesn’t!
Showing your love is important, providing cuddles and smiles of appreciation – but the power of speaking the words should not be underestimated.
You might find it awkward at first, but telling your children that you love them can help strengthen the bond between you – and will help them feel secure and confident.
Here are some suggestions, to help you say ‘I love you’ so that your children really benefit:
- Make eye contact: it shows you mean it!
- Touch: a hug, a pat on the back, even just a hand on your child’s shoulder will add extra emphasis.
- I love you, son (or daughter): ‘son’ and ‘daughter’ are powerful words – used in this way they can help reinforce the bond within your relationship.
- I love you, Bernard (or Bernadette): use your child’s name! There can be no doubt you are talking to them.
- I love you, no buts or whens, I love you because you are loveable: don’t use ‘I love you’ with conditions attached. ‘I love you when...’ or ‘I love you, but...’ implies your child has to earn your love. ‘I love you because you are loveable’ is what you want your child to learn. Your love for them is unconditional – it is attached to nothing. It simply is.
- The element of surprise: reinforce the idea that your love is not a reward, but a constant. Say ‘I love you’ at unexpected times – not only when your children have made you proud. It should be an everyday thing.