Indirect contact is, essentially, any contact that doesn't take place face-to-face. If your child isn’t ready for direct contact, don’t despair. There are other ways of being in touch and they may be right for your child right now. Don’t assume that it will always be this way and don’t assume that they will change their minds in the end. Just take it slowly and understand that you can’t force them to change their minds but you can help make it more or less likely by how you behave towards them and their mum.
Dads' Space 1-2-1 offers free indirect contact support and facilities online. This can help if your child’s mother isn’t ready to see you yet, or if the court says you can’t be given the responsibility of direct contact until you have shown regular commitment via indirect contact.
Email, SMS, phone, letters are all other ways of maintaining indirect contact. It’s important to try to come up with something that you, your child and your child’s mum are all happy with and not to push it if your child or their mum isn’t comfortable.
IF you end up in deadlock over what type of indirect contact to use, you may have to ask the courts to help you by making a decision for you all - or that may already have happened. If the court makes a decision about the indirect contact, it’s important that you stick to it. If you don’t agree with it, use the legal processes to challenge the decision but in the mean time abide by it. The court won’t be impressed by someone who just ignores their decision and it’s not showing your child a good example to break the legal decisions of the court.
Next: Getting to know your child before indirect contact