If you haven’t seen your child for a long time or have never met them, you will probably have lots of ideas in your head about what it will be like, what they are like, what your relationship will be like.
Chances are, it won't be like you thought it was going to be.
Some of it will be more boring – some things about child care just are, they are hard work and not very interesting but they have to be done, they are part of being a dad.
Some of it will be more fun than you thought – whoever thought that spending hours playing cards or watching Dr Who or making biscuits could be so good? Doing things with your child can be so much more fun than you realised.
Your child is of course special and of course you will think they are great, but you might take a while to get to know them and for a while you might be disappointed in yourself for not feeling an instant bond or connection. This may take a while. And even when you do have a connection with your child, there will still be times when they will want to talk about something in which you have absolutely no interest and sometimes you will find out you aren’t always that most amazing dad you thought you would be but you will always be their dad and that’s what counts.
Sometimes your child will be a right pain – all children are sometimes. They can be sulky or unhelpful or embarrass you in front of your friends. The last one is possibly just something you will have to get used to but other things you will learn to deal with and will come to find are ways that you have to be the parent and teach them how to behave. As often as possible you will do this by example. Sometimes you will just have to grit your teeth. Other times you will have to try talking your child into stopping doing something and sometime you will have to be really firm and just tell them how it is, because it’s your responsibility to stop them from doing something dangerous or anti social. All part of being a good dad!
Sometimes your child will bring a lump to your throat or move you to tears. OK, seeing them in the school play often makes a parent have a sniff but it can also be at something you weren’t ready for, like them giving you a birthday card, or telling you just how much they enjoyed their day with you, or hearing them telling someone else just how much they loved doing something with you. And most of all, just having the privilege of watching them grow up and being part of their lives. It’s hard work but it’s worth it.
Next: So how do you make contact?