Don't think you're abusive? Read this!

Every dad wants the best for their children. That includes wanting to set a good example to them and protecting them from being scared. But what if they’re scared of you? If you’re abusing or frightening their mum, it will be affecting them.

Whether you're living together, separated, married or whatever, your kids love both of you and don’t want anything to hurt either of you. It doesn’t matter if it’s physical or other sorts of abuse, it often means children lose respect for their dad and stop trusting you. No dad wants that.

Hopefully, if you’re on Dads' Space you must want to be the best dad you can – so you need to know if you're doing the right things for your family. If you aren’t abusive, you haven’t got anything to worry about, and if you are, we can help you to do something about it, for the sake of your kids, your partner and yourself.

• Noticed that your partner is scared to tell you what she thinks, or disagree with you?
• Criticised her parenting or called her a bad mum in front of the children? Or friends or family?
• Sulked and refused to do your fair share with the children?
• Threatened to tell social services she is a bad mother?
• Repeatedly failed to do your share of household jobs or child care and then said she was nagging when she reminded you? Or just ignored her?
• Stopped her from seeing particular friends or family?
• Told her what to wear or not wear in ways which made her feel frightened, picked on or upset?
• Sulked or got angry when she wouldn’t do something sexual you wanted her to do?
• Made her think you would hurt her if she didn’t do what she wanted?
• Refused to discuss a disagreement calmly?
• Accused her of flirting or having an affair if she spoke to a man or stayed late at work with a male colleague?
• Hurt her, pushed her, shoved her, kicked her, pinched her or pulled her hair?
• Hurt her so that she had to go to hospital or someone called the police?
• Seen her flinch when you move towards her?

If you have done one or more of these things, particularly if you have done several of them or one in particular regularly, you are being abusive. If you have made your partner feel frightened of you or what you will do even once, she will probably be scared of you again when you behave similarly, even if you don’t mean to. If you do it more than once, it will just get worse. Your children will start to notice, though you may not realise this. You don’t want your kids or their mum to be afraid. Take action now!