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How to separate safely if you're being abused

How to separate safely if you're being abused

Your safety matters and you will probably know if your partner (or other family member abusing you) will react violently. It may be that you have to leave secretly, without telling her/them.

Have they threatened to hurt you or the children if you leave?
Have they threatened other members of your family?

If the answer to the above questions is “yes” you will probably need to leave secretly and prepare for this without telling anyone, or only someone you can trust.

Here are some more things for you to consider:

If it is another family member abusing you, is there someone else in your family you can trust to talk to or ask for help?
Have you talked to the Men's Advice Line or other specialist domestic violence service?
Have you been in touch with the local police station or specialist domestic violence unit in the police?
Have you been referred to an Independent Domestic Violence Advocate (IDVA)? If not, you can be referred by the police if you are considered to be at a certain level of physical risk. Talk to the police domestic violence unit about this.
Have you access to your passport, birth certificate and other legal documents?
Are you planning on leaving with the children? In this case, you will need to consider if this is the best thing for them, how you will do it and when. You should try to talk to someone you can trust about this plan, or the Men’s Advice Line.

Links to other sites

Get help now!

Ring the Men’s Advice Line on 08088010327
Talk to the police domestic violence unit or Independent Domestic Violence Advocate
Talk to your social worker if you have one
Talk to a trusted member of your family or trusted friend
Get all your legal document and bank details together
Consult your housing office about re-housing, temporary and permanent
Talk to your solicitor about relevant legal proceedings you may need to consider

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