Reaching A Settlement

Right now you're probably tearing your hair out, but reaching a settlement agreement is often not as hard as it might seem.

The best outcome for any separation is when both parties manage to work out the settlement between themselves into an agreement that they can both live with. The main considerations will be:

• Parenting and contact arrangements – who the resident parent will be and what contact the other parent will have.
• Child support payments – who will pay how much to assist the other parent with child-related costs.
• Property/assets – how your cash and assets will be divided

If you can reach such an agreement together, you’ll find that the pain of the settlement will be much lower than if you involve outside agencies. Above all else, it’ll be much easier on the kids, who’ll be having a hard enough time accepting the situation as it is.

A small percentage of couples are unwilling or unable to reach an agreement in this way. If you have to resort to the courts to decide things it will probably add to the confusion, stress and angst you’re probably already feeling.

Negotiation is hard work, but it’s really important to reaching a settlement that you can all live with. If you don’t attempt to negotiate, you may find:

• Other people (such as lawyers or judges) deciding things for you
• That you get wrapped up in expensive legal proceedings
• That you end up with little or no contact with your children
• That you’re trapped in a parenting arrangement that doesn’t work for you
• That you feel resentful towards your former partner

If you find yourself unable to discuss things rationally with your former partner, family or child mediation can be helpful. It help separating families to make choices about the practical aspects of separation (useful when you might not be thinking clearly) and together you can develop a workable plan for the future.

Mediators understand family law and will be skilled in helping couples negotiate their own agreements. Mediators do not take sides, or represent either party.

You can find more information on mediation by contacting the National Family Mediation organisation. This is the umbrella organisation for local family mediation services, and they can tell you where your local service is.

Phone: 01392 271 610
Email: general@nfm.org.uk
Website: www.nfm.u-net.com

Coming up with an agreement yourselves is always preferable to going to court, and will always lead to a better result for all concerned.