HELP BOOK REVIEW: The Bloke's Guide To Babies

That long walk out of the hospital door, into the big bad world with a newborn baby, is about as terrifying as things can get. No escort home to check you’re doing everything right? No forms to sign and no fee to be paid? What a strange, strange feeling.

This book is for any bloke who is, or is about to become, a dad. Let’s face it, we men are pretty petrified by anything we don’t understand. We need manuals: A + B = C. Hence The Bloke’s Guide To Babies – no flowery prose or idealistic diatribe; just telling it how it is, raw and unabridged. What’s the worst that can happen? What’s the best? If the engine is smoking, what should we look at first – the radiator or the alternator? Here is the truth, in bite-size pieces.

If all you knew about babies was what you saw on the front cover of parenting books, you could be forgiven for thinking that women produce children asexually. Whilst most guides opt for the safe option of just showing a happy, smiling child, when they do show an adult, it's almost always a woman - men are  nowhere to be seen. In the days when dads are both expected and wanting to take a more hands-on role, this seems riduculous; and while The Bloke's Guide To Babies still doesn't show any Dads on the cover, but it does at least offer a shoulder to cry on.

The book takes the form of a sort of matey chat, and mostly does so well. Some of the sections are really well written; thoughtful and considered, and never preachy. Take the section on choosing nappies - do you do the "right" thing with reusable/biodegradable ones, or take the disposable "easy option"? The author lays out the facts but doesn't moralise; in fact, he confesses that whilst they're not good for the environment, he used disposables. The section dealing with very young children's questions about death is also excellent - should you lie to make them feel better, or is the truth the most important thing, even at the risk of upsetting them? Sensibly, he doesn't offer a Right Answer to this question. He just says how he dealt with it, and leaves it at that. Because there is no right answer - and whilst "answers" might seem to be the point for a guide book, it's a mature approach. Sometimes, just knowing that there may not actually be a "correct" answer brings relief on its own.

Ditto the sections where he deals with the less well-covered and talked about parts of fatherhood - the strength of the mother/child bond, resentment etc. It's all good, honest, well written stuff.

What this isn't is a guide to the more "technical" side of parenting. Whilst it does give some general advice on the very basics - how to change a nappy, for example - there's nothing detailed - if you're looking for advice on things like suggested bath temperatures, feed quantities, and how to establish sleeping patterns etc, then this isn't the book for you. But this information is covered in depth in the sort of book that tends to feature a mother on the front - which, as the author points out, you've probably acquired a few of prior to your child's arrival anyway.

Some of the extended comedy musings do wear a bit thin. A page long diversion into the queuing habits of different nations, for example, seems wasted space; especially compared to the bits when the author is really in his stride. The book also aims too widely; taking a scattergun approach and trying to appeal to everyone, and it occasionally alienates rather than includes. But the author's cheer, realism and genuine desire to help come through again and again, making it easy to look beyond the faults.

If you're the sort of man who would happily describe himself as a "bloke" then this book will probably appeal. Even if you're not, there's enough in here to make it a worthwhile read. It's not a long book - it took me less than a couple of hours to read - and not a cheap one at £8.99, but there's some genuinely good advice in there. I just wish it weren't such faint praise to say that it's one of the better books available aimed at new fathers.