Most dads don’t hurt their partner and you probably don’t want to either. You’re probably trying to sort things out and you want to make sure it doesn’t happen again. But in the end, even if it’s not physical, the way you treat your partner will have results you won’t like. Part of being a good dad is treating their mum well, even if you aren’t in a relationship any more. Your children love you both and won’t like it if one of you frightens or upsets the other.
It’s up to you to change things – your partner can’t change what happened and she can’t stop you from hurting or frightening her again. There’s no point telling her or yourself that if she just behaved differently or stopped winding you up or did what you said you wouldn’t end up hurting her – what happens next time she annoys you? What if the children are there? It’s worth having a look at what might happen, because even if you think it’s her fault, you will be the one causing the damage if you hurt or frighten your children’s mother again and it’s you who can stop this.